Chicago Bears 27 – New York Giants 21
Game Review: Ahh Crap! Well I suppose you can’t spell recap without crap, apropos given the Giants endless ability to well..crap the bed late in games. Crap, for the record, isn’t always bad, especially when Burgess Meredith coined two of my favorite movies phrases containing the euphemized word for feces: “You’re gonna eat lightnin’ and you’re gonna crap thundah,” said to inspire Rocky Balboa and my personal favorite “Well you can wish in one hand and crap in the other, and see which one gets filled up foist.” Our hands are mighty full at 0-6, so on with the crap.
Things started off eerily similar to the opening season drubbing by the Cowboys, with Eli Manning not waiting long to throw his first INT, conceivably just to be goofy and make us all laugh because hey…he’s Easy E that’s just how he is. On the Giants first foray on offense, it took Eli just two passes to find an opponent wide open for an easy INT, but as has been the case early in games, the defense rose up and stuffed the Bears on a 4th and 2 from the four to erase Eli’s first gaffe. With the ball in hand at their own 4, the G-Men came out swinging on the ground, but on the fifth play Eli tossed a mind-blowing INT to CB Tim Jennings who took it in from 48 yards out and a quick 7-0 Bears edge. Buoyed by Jacobs 16-yard jaunt on the previous drive, the ground game again took center stage with seven runs on a 10-play drive that evened the score when Jacobs ran again over the right side for a 4 yard rushing touchdown. The Bears answered right back, marching 86 yards in eight plays, spurred by three grabs for 42 yards and a TD by WR Brandon Marshall. In an all too familiar hole at 14-7, the offense answered with a 7-play, 80-yard drive saved by a 3rd and 5 conversion by TE Bear Pascoe who did his best Mark Ingram impression to twist and fight for 14 yards when the Giants needed it badly. Four plays later, Manning hit Rueben Randle on a 37-yard strike that made up for Randle’s apparent blown route on the Jennings TD return two drives earlier.
Tied at 14 all, QB Jay Cutler again sliced up the Giants defense to the tune of 9 plays and 80 yards, capped by another Brandon Marshall touchdown, and the Giants were again in a hole. Unable to keep it going, the G-Men went three and out and the Bears answered with a 10 play drive that ended with a 40-yard Robbie Gould FG to give Ditka Nation a 24-14 halftime bulge.
After the pause, the Bears took the opening kick and drove to the Giant 34 before Gould hit a 52 yarder to push the lead to 13, and you could almost feel the wheels coming off for the 6th week in a row. After trading punts, the Giants took over with 5:21 in the third quarter and drove 91 yards, highlighted by a 31 yard scamper by WR Hakeem Nicks, to pull within six points and yet again give hope to the hopeless (that’s us AND the team AND the coaches AND Ben Affleck when he tries to play the Dark Knight). The Giants defense, which points wise is being shredded, forced two more punts and the Giants took over again with 5:21 left in the game. This was it, Eli was going to march us down the field Super Bowl style and sneak away with a 1-point win. I could hear the short weird lady from Poltergeist urging him on “Eli Maannning, stay away from the liiiiighhht,” then I had a Jo Beth Williams in her undies flashback (if you haven’t seen it, go, go right now to your local VHS tape outlet and buy it just for that scene) and all was right with the world. Jacobs bolted over left end for a 14-yard gain, Eli converted a 3rd and 7 to Nicks, and then it was Jacobs donning the new #34 again with a 12-yard run over right tackle, Da’Rel Scott over right guard for 13 yards and a first down at the Bear 36. Sweet Dancing Jehova we are there, 36 yards from pay dirt, victory, Bingo, Yahtzee, but CB Tim Jennings decided instead to sink our battleship with his second and Manning’s third interception of the night. Unable to stop the Black Unicorn on a critical 3rd and 7 with just under 2:00 to play, the Giants folded again as Jay Cutler and company ran out the clock and held on for the 27-21 W.
Quarterbacks: Another day another batch of mind numbing interceptions, one of which gave the Bears a lead and another that snuffed out a late-game rally. Tell me he’s our whole team, how he’s clutch and how he’s won two trophies and I will not argue for one minute. The issue here is not what he DID, but what he’s doing and that’s what we have to deal with. This isn’t an ESPN poll, no group of writers is sitting around debating if he’s elite, or which Manning is better at ping-pong. This is an 0-6 team with a QB playing poorly, end of story, see it for what it is, not what he’s done. Manning threw for 239 but was barely over 50%, going 14 for 26 and throwing three interceptions. Eli is simply making too many dumb mistakes for someone with this much experience and it is absolutely killing this team. When he makes perfect throws as he did on a 23-yarder up the right sideline to Victor Cruz, it just makes it that more maddening when his mechanics break down and he makes silly mistakes. Instead of a steady veteran leader, we all of the sudden have the hyperactive puppy with a case of the yips.
Running Backs: HB Brandon Jacobs went all Dorsey Levens on the Bears, piling up 106 yards on 22 carries and two touchdowns. Jacobs hit on a power for 16 yards on the Giants first scoring drive (the Bears scored a defensive TD but I count it as a scoring drive damn it) and showed some of his old rumble. Jacobs used his trademark power all night, running with a good pad level and keeping his feet moving more effectively than perhaps he ever has and that makes all the difference with the big fella. FB John Conner got some dirt on his uniform finally, and fearful of agreeing with anything Rex Ryan says, you gotta admit when he lines up in the I-formation it’s fun to watch him lower the boom. Conner gets an assist on a 13-yard Jacobs run – he led right up the gut, slamming into the DL, and in the process drew the attention of the Bears’ LBs, giving Jacobs the edge he needed to scoot around right end and convert a big 3rd and 1. It’s those little nuances in a play, that when executed well are the difference between a punt and big time conversion. Conner also buried LB James Anderson on Jacobs’ first TD of the day. There is a discernible difference when Conner is in the game, defenders simply don’t want any part of him and will do anything to get around him if they can. Losing Henry Hynoski was a big blow, if Conner stays healthy this running game may actually get some traction…stay tuned.
Wide Receivers: WR Rueben Randle led the Giants with 75 yards and a touchdown, but it was Randle’s misread on a sight adjustment that played a role in Manning’s second turnover. I won’t lay that at the feet of the 2nd year wideout, I put more of that on the two time Super Bowl MVP who has 16 interceptions in 6 games. Hakeem Nicks chipped in with 4 grabs for 70 yards, including a 31 yard catch and run on the final scoring drive that converted a big 3rd and 8. Victor Cruz kicked in 68 yards on 4 grabs, but for the most part the Bears did a good job keeping the explosive Cruz from killing them deep. It was Cruz’s draw of a pass interference penalty against jerkface Tim Jennings (he may be nice, but two interceptions that ruined my Thursday make him a jerkface) though, that led to the Giants final TD.
Tight Ends: TE Bear Pascoe was the most effective of the tight end trio, consistently holding the point of attack and playing with outstanding leverage play after successful running play. (There is a clip on Giants.com from Training Camp where Pascoe is underneath a blocking sled and coach Mike Pope is ecstatic at how high he’s lifting it, now I finally know why). Pascoe’s hand placement and technique were near perfect, more impressive considering he was essentially a 3rd OT on several plays. Pugh and Diehl were given a ton of credit in the broadcast, but Pascoe was the real difference maker upon closer inspection. Pascoe also had the biggest TE play of the day on his lone 14-yard reception that kept alive a scoring drive. TE Brandon Myers had by far his best blocking day as a Giant. Given his body of work that’s akin to being Michael Bay’s least craptastic movie. Myers was used more as an H-Back and was moving pre-snap on several of the better runs of the day, a welcome wrinkle from Kevin Gilbride’s previous utilization of him as an actual blocking TE. Third TE Larry Donnell was used quite a bit in-line and did a solid job with the exception of one huge whiff on LB Lance Briggs and a silly false start penalty. Keep an eye on Donnell though, he seems to have a sneaky way of getting downfield on passing plays, and at some point he’ll make a big play.
Offensive Line: Give this group some credit for a bounce back performance, albeit against the Bears JV squad on the interior DL. Granted RT Justin Pugh and RG David Diehl got a little movement up front to pace the team on the ground, but it was a subtle wrinkle to the nauseating 3-TE, 1-FB package that got things moving up front. Ordinarily outmatched on the edge, TE Brandon Myers was used as an H-Back, going in short motion to the play side on runs and up the A gap to shore up the middle before releasing downfield. Throw in some FB misdirection, and this OL, to the manb were winning their battles and that’s really as hard as it gets. Keeping them from being outnumbered and predictable is the challenge. Pugh and Diehl led the way on 11 of Jacobs’ 22 carries to the tune of 60 yards and a 5.45 yard per carry average. The left side tandem of LT Will Beatty and LG Kevin Boothe were run behind on 11 of Jacobs’ runs as well for 46 yards, so the disparity in yardage wasn’t as large it looked when initially watching it. Either way the OL managed their best performance to date with a solid day on the ground and a stat sheet shutout of DE Julius Peppers, thanks in large part to LT Will Beatty. Diehl played better, no doubt, but when someone was getting shoved back, it was usually #66. No complaints about C Jim Cordle, except for his number. 63? It just looks terrible, and quite frankly the 3 is not very slimming.
Defensive Line: In their own nod to Testicular Cancer Awareness (TCA) during Breast Cancer Awareness month, the Giants DL decided to go sackless. Two former All-Pro DEs and a veteran 1st rounder were not able to bother Cutler all night, turning the Bears offense into a glorified 7-on-7 drill that Brandon Marshall won by himself. Credit the bulk up the gut though for limiting Matt Forte to 67 yards on 19 carries, 13 of which came on one run in which DT Cullen Jenkins was clearly held. Ah but this is the newer gentler NFL where we you can’t be mean to offensive players. Shaun Rogers, Jenkins, Linval Joseph and Mike Patterson accounted for only four stops, but kept new MLB Jon Beason clean enough to chase plays form sideline to sideline. DEs Justin Tuck and Jason Pierre-Paul were once again kept totally quiet, and quite frankly neither showed much with the exception of a Tuck batted-ball that plays perfectly with the TCA theme. Tuck gave almost nothing on an Alshon Jeffrey end around that went for 17 yards; it’s just maddening seeing him give in to defeat so quickly on plays knowing he is capable of much more.
Linebackers: Clearly unable to stand my rapier wit aimed at his LB corpses (sic-see what I did there, a joke AND Latin), GM Jerry Reese shipped off a 7th round pick to Carolina in exchange for MLB Jon Beason, who was on the team for 10 days before his first start. Quite the resounding endorsement about the staff’s faith in this group. Beason was hyperactive from the start, knifing in on a 3rd and 3 at the Giants four yard line to force a 4th and 2 that resulted in a turnover on downs. LB Keith Rivers badly missed an open field tackle on FB Tony Fiammetta, and in the process took out Beason, that’s what we call a two-fer! Beason led the team with 12 stops, one week after I ridiculed this group for never being able to lead the team in tackles. I say it can’t happen and magically it does the next week! I also, never win the lottery, my hair is never coming back and Congress will never all go on a big boat that sinks the second it hits open water. Beason is already the best LB on this team, and if his knees hold he will be a huge upgrade in the heart of this all too often heartless Giant defense. Spencer Paysinger’s one game run against Philly as a good player was apparently his Ramses Barden moment. Not much noise from whatever his number is now yet again. Keith Rivers, you stink.
Defensive Backs: It’s hard to find a ton of fault here, despite Cutler throwing for 262 and a pair of scores. This secondary gets zero help from the pass rush, and almost none form its defensive coordinator. How on Earth Brandon Marshall is not jammed at the line every single time is beyond me. When you throw up a cover 2 shell to prevent the deep ball and still play 10 yards off the best WR on the field, you’re inviting trouble. Just being happy that Marshall didn’t completely kill you should not be good enough. You take away the team’s best weapon, and no it’s not Matt Forte. Marshall may be big but he hates contact, just watch him “run block”. On the few plays that CB Prince Amukamara did jam him, Marshall simply quit on the play, inexcusable that was not done all night to the temperamental WR. Notable for stinking was DB Terrell Thomas who gave up an easy TD to Marshall and looked lost on an Alshon Jeffrey 27-yarder in the first half. S Will Hill’s “unnecessary roughness” call on a 9-yard Cutler scramble is the type of play that will ruin this game. His hands glanced off of Cutler’s helmet as he was half sliding and that’s worth a hanky and 15 yards??? Amukamara finished with nine stops, mostly downfield and Antrel Rolle was again active with eight stops.
Special Teams: In honor of Beavis, “These effects aren’t very special,” I must say our special teams are anything but. Jerrel Jernigan managed a 46-yard return that got poor Robbie Gould yelled at by Devin Hester, but again no spark to ignite the team with a turnover, score or opponent-pinning punt. Steve Weatherford did manage to frustrate Hester, not allowing one punt return yard. Not exciting, but limiting Hester is an accomplishment that borderlines on special, we’ll call it pretty…pretty..npretty good for now.
Cram it in your Cramhole Award: Back by popular demand (aka one guy on BBI said he missed it, so that goes in the Win column) is the CiiYCA. This week’s prize goes to KR Devin Hester for throwing a hissy fit after Jerrel Jernigan had a longer return than he did. First off, you need someone watching your back AT ALL TIMES! (Those Rex Kwon Do flashes have not completely died down, my apologies.) His name is Robbie Gould, and he’s a kicker, that’s already hard enough being a spindly nerdy white guy on a team of cool names: Lance Briggs, Matt Forte, Brandon Marshall, Julius Peppers, Martellus Bennett. His holder’s last name is Podlesh for crap’s sake, and he has to wear a weirdo kicking shoe, not turf chewing cleats. He’s balding (poor bastard) and constantly adjusts his chin strap to stay on his chinless chin and you’re yelling at him for a one measly kick? Go buy him a new goofy kicking shoe to say you’re sorry.